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Oh, Vaginas!

Vaginas have such a rich, deep, heart wrenching, turbulent, empowering history. Which isn't surprising at all really when we think of how they are probably the greatest symbol of lust, of birth, of life. There is a natural pulse and clear and active voice within the vagina when awakened. She has both an in breath and an out breath. Releasing and receiving. It's a two way thing with her.

Here I say 'her' with intention. The intention to form intimacy with our own vagina which is a huge part of actively responding to what she says. She's a gatekeeper. The guard to the rest of our system. Listening to and responding to the body's consent when relating to the vagina is crucial to overall health.

When it comes to the ideas - holding - birth - pleasure system I've introduced you to, the vagina relates to two of these phases. The outward, release, exhale channel relates to the birthing phase. The inward, receiving, inhale channel relates to the pleasure phase.

The vagina is the seat of our consciousness. It's our base. Our birth giving space. It's a symbol of empowerment and also a symbol of historical violence and control.

The vagus nerve directly connects the vagina to the throat and the brain. Any attack on the vagina, be it physical, verbal, emotional or energetic, biologuically attacks the expression and the mental state of a woman. Likewise, any positive and loving actions towards the vagina empowers the mental state and expression. For this reason sex can be deeply damaging or incredibly empowering.

The way we are taught to think of our vagina directly reflects the way we see ourselves and speak for ourselves in general. A sexually empowered woman has typically been beaten down throughout history. Especially since around 10,000BC when the worship of the goddess declined and scripture rose. I find this interesting from a right left brain perspective. The more humanity exercised left brain, right body, masculine scripture, the less the nature worshipping goddess creative essence of the right brain left body felt.

A sexually empowered woman is outspoken and thinks for herself. This is a threat to the system we all live in. A system built upon dogma, guidelines, laws for the collective organisation. I feel it's important to clarify that this collective organization, this dogma and shame and guilt was initially developed to serve the progression of humanity. It kept order and order allowed for the organization of the masses. This level of organisation is what sits us apart from other creatures of this world.

Now, in this day and age, where we are seeking our expression, truth and identity as individuals, these emotions and this heavy conditioning holds us back. The conditioning around our vaginas is particularly potent, as our vaginas have been attacked for generations through war tactics and power games. We've been fed quite a negative image or a secretive image of the vagina. Hide it away, don't touch it, don't talk about it, we don't want to see it, it's disgusting.

These are just some of the very common mentalities when it comes to the vagina, as well as the ownership of women's bodies through marriage and relationships. Lets remember that women who came before us were owned by men for generations and this is very much in our epigenetic handdowns, our mother father blueprints.

Reframing these stories is key to reclamation of self. Speaking your truth, hearing your truth, asserting boundaries, allowing surrender, these all very much boil down to the relationship we have with our body and how clearly we can hear her.

Vaginas are resillient, just like women.

Re-defining images of the vagina redefines the way a woman identifies with herself. I personally have lots of fun in my mind exploring all the empowering pet names I could give to my… pussy, my yoni, my flower, my juicy fruit, my cookie, my honey pot… Maybe some of these words make you laugh, or feel uncomfortable or make you cringe. Explore this. Which words do you love most? Which words feel like an attack? Find what empowers you and work with it.

Touch her, please her, talk to her, taste her. Know her and love her as intimately as you want to be loved by the world. How you relate to your vagina is pretty much how you show up in the world.

As emotions stagnate in the vagina, physical tension builds up. It’s just the same as how we gather tension in our shoulders when we are stressed. The best way to relax this is through massage. Physically massaging out the tension spots.

It’s common for a tense vagina to mistaken for a toned vagina. These are not the same thing. A strong, toned vagina, is active. She moves. She pulsates and squeezes with ease. Building strength in the vagina through physical massage, and resistance work like yoni egg exercises, assists in both releasing tension and building strength.

Honestly, I cried so deeply through my journey with this. The trauma in my body from being raped and having allowed men in without the consent of my body led to somewhat of a paralysis in my vaginal muscles. I was energetically vacant and my kegel strength was poor.

Over time I’ve worked on this. I would lay in the bath and gently feel for the stories, massaging them out, unpacking the tension spots to understand what I was holding inside of me still. I started to exercise the various quadrants individually, pulsating just the front or the back, or the right or the left.

I gave my vagina patience. I took it one small step at a time. And I’m still on that journey. She’s stronger though. Waaay stronger. And the power and pleasure I feel as result is huge. I basically said to my body, “hey, I’m here, and I care about you, and I'm sorry for ignoring and abandoning you” and slowly, very slowly she started to trust me and speak to me.

Again, the relationship you have with your vagina and the health of her will reflect back to you how you show up in the world.

There are four quadrants to the vagina which we can map when massaging ourselves. Where the tension and pain points sit, directly correlates to the quadrant that the tension is in.  


The front quadrant, at the front of your body has to do with what you’re stepping forward into. Energetically it is closely linked to the bladder, which hosts fear. Tension in the front quadrant has to do with fears around stepping forward, into life.

When you massage here, go very gentle. This is by the G spot, by the urethra. It doesn’t have the same muscular activation and resilience as the other four quadrants, so really tune in when you’re working with the front. Be careful not to hurt yourself.

The back quadrant relates to support. Literally, are you being backed? If tension sits in this space, it has to do with your support structures. How are you supporting yourself? Are you open to receive support from others? Are you dependent on others for support? Who’s got your back?

You can also touch this space to activate support energy to call on more of it.

The right quadrant relates to our inner masculine - external, penetrative, action energy. Yang. As well as the release or birth channel of our vagina.

And the left quadrant relates to our inner feminine - internal, receiving, surrender energy. Yin. As well as the receiving or pleasure channel of our vagina.

Like all the other quadrants, you can massage to release. Simultaneously you massage to awaken the power of this quadrant.

I encourage you to start physically exploring these areas. Bringing your awareness to your vagina brings about a power. When we massage the tension spots inside, we release the

physical symptoms of emotional stagnation. It’s common to feel bouts of emotion after doing this as a result.  

So touch yourself with intention. Be loving. Be kind. Go gentle as you step into this exploration! You’ll start to awaken new pleasure areas in you, energy which serves your birthing, your boundaries, your presence as a woman.

I’m gonna close this one off with a small tip to have fun with...

Bringing awareness to your vagina whilst engaging with others will energetically command a new level of attention. When my lover is distracted in his own world and not really giving me the attention I need, even something simple like asking a question and waiting for an answer, I can bring my awareness to my vagina. This energetic awareness sparks him up and suddenly he’s paying attention.

You can do this with everyone. Lovers, strangers…
Humans are WAY more susceptible to subtle shifts than we typically think. And the power of our vaginas is way greater than we generally grant.
Have a play with it and watch what happens.  

Enjoy!